I Did See Her Again
by ChronosAbyss
Summary: What if Doofensmirtz had seen Linda again after that first date? Perry the Platypus is forced to listen to a rather disturbing back-story in which he learns the true relationship between Dr. D and the Flynn family. *Completed*
1. Chapter 1

"Ah, Perry the Platypus., what a surprise. And by surprise I mean..." He trailed off with a look of disinterest and waved it off with his hand. "Eh, oh never mind. I see you think you're too good for your trap today." Perry looked sideways at the empty cage for a moment and back up at his nemesis somewhat guiltily. "Fortunately for me, I have another!" He slammed his fist on a nearby button and the floor dropped out from under the agent, quickly giving way to a rising platform holding Perry around his middle with a metal restraint. Perry struggled a bit and glared at Doofensmirtz who shrugged. "What? You should have seen that coming."

"Anyway, you remember the time I told you about that girl I went out with in high school? You remember that, don't you? We went to the movies and I had her ride in back of my car so we would only have to pay for one ticket. Yeah, you remember. And then I had said that I never saw her again." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, that wasn't exactly true. You see, Perry the Platypus, a couple of years later it turns out she really did turn out to be a pop star. And a pretty famous one at that. And it just so happens around the same time I had finally gotten lucky with another girl less than a year earlier. My ex-wife Charlene. Yeah. And well, Vanessa hadn't been born yet and those pregnancy hormones just, augh! She would just drive me off the wall with her crazy requests. Like, chocolate covered pickles. I mean, who does that? Seriously." He started pacing in from of his literally captive audience.

"So I snuck out of the house one night and went to a Lindana concert. I mean, I didn't really have much of a hobby yet. I was just getting the whole 'Tristate Area' thing of the ground, so there wasn't much else for me to do at the time." At the name Lindana Perry stopped his internal planning for his inevitable escape and stared back up at Doofensmirtz with a look of shocked repulsion. Lindana? Linda? His Linda? No way would she have any connection with Doofensmirtz, much less a date. He shuddered.

The doctor stopped mid rant at his captive's stare of disbelief. "What? I can get backstage at a pop concert. I know people. Well, it turns out that she had felt a little guilty about our last encounter. I mean, I was only trying to improve our cinematic experience. A- ah- you know, I'm just going to skip to the important part. She agreed to try her luck once more. She said," He raised his voice a bit in an attempt to quote her. "'Well, they say you can't judge a book by its cover.' Our date went remarkably well considering. She took me back to her place even." He smiled as he recalled.

Perry had had enough of this. He wanted out! He struggled even more vigorously against his ties, not wanting to know where this latest back-story was going.

"And the events following are little hazy. We were both roaring drunk by that time. But if one thing's for certain I struck it lucky that night." Doofensmirtz made a suggestive face and a faux nudging motion with his arm. "You know. Eh, eh?"

Perry's mind screeched to a halt. An expression of horrified disgust took over.

Looking startled Doofensmirtz waved his hands in attempt to ward off any misconceptions. "Oh! Nonono! You wouldn't actually think that…Hah ha." Perry allowed himself a small breath. "No, I would never have cheated on my wife, Perry the Platypus! That's not evil, that's just wrong. No, she and I didn't end up getting married until a month _after_ this happened. With our little Vanessa on the way we wanted her to have a pair of loving _married_ parents." Perry returned to his previous state of disgust. "Again, you keep getting me off track here Perry the Platypus. The point of this story is, I kind of accidentally have two daughters," he admitted somewhat sheepishly.

Okay, this was just too much for him now. Perry sucked in his breath and slammed his tail on the ground below him, propelling him up and out of the metal rings encasing him. "Perry the Platypus, wait! I didn't even tell you my evil scheme y- Oof!" He fell hard to the floor as he was slapped in the face with Agent P's beaver-like tail. Perry stalked over to where his nemesis had fallen. "Oh, hey. Wait, Perry the Platypus!" He held out a hand as if to ward the advancing monotreme away. Perry easily subverted the barrier and socked the doctor in his rather large nose.

"Oh, ow! That was my nose you just hit there! I'll be needing that later." He cupped his hands over his new injury. "Hey w-wait! Perry the Platypus, where are you going?" But Agent P was already half-way to the ground strapped into his familiar parachute. "Okay then. I'll see you again tomorrow?"


	2. Chapter 2

Perry just couldn't wrap his head around the idea. Linda and _Doofensmirtz_? Then, Candace's fath- No. Perry shook his head vigorously. There was no way he could prove it. No evidence. They didn't even look alike. No similarities. The little platypus slowed to a stop. Well, Candace did have a rather obsessive streak. She obsessed over busting the boys every day, even when they weren't doing anything. And Doofensmirtz, well… And neither were particularly productive at what they did either.

Perry dropped down onto all fours and waddled into his backyard. "Oh there you are Perry." Phineas remarked cheerfully between bounces on what looked like giant bubble wrap. Ferb and all their friends were there too. Perry greeted them with a chitter.

"Mom, mom, mom! Look!" Candace ran through the back patio door with Linda in tow. "Giant bubble wrap!"

"Candace, I don't see anything." Indeed the only sight that met Candace's eyes now was her brothers, Baljeet, Buford, and Isabella sitting under the big tree in their backyard.

"But-" Candace stammered.

"Now if you're done with me here, I'm going to go finish putting my groceries away." Linda walked back into the house.

"Okay, where'd it go this time?" Candace demanded as she stomped over to the kids.

Phineas pulled out a small sheet of the bubbles with a smile. "Our bubble wrap is biodegradable." He rapidly popped the bubbles with his thumbs and dropped the sheet on the ground. "After you pop all the bubbles it disintegrates itself." He chirped cheerfully as the discarded sheet broke up into a thin layer of dirt. "Plastic is bad for the environment." Ferb nodded in silent agreement.

"Well, I'm watching you." Candace pointed at them and indeed kept watching them as she strode back to the house. She bumped into the trim of the door. Slightly annoyed with herself, she opened the door and went in, looking back out through the window.

"Well, that was fun guys. We'll see you again tomorrow." Phineas picked Perry up by his middle and hugged him to his chest.

"Bye Phineas!" Isabella waved as she walked out the gate behind Buford and Baljeet.

"Hey Ferb, let's go see what Mom got from the grocery store!" The two boys ran into the house, Perry in tow.

... ... ...

Late that night, long after everyone had gone to bed Perry paced the living room floor. He knew he should have been in bed with either of his two boys, but his conversation with Doofensmirtz kept him from sleep. As much as he hated to admit it, what he said was a viable possibility. The cup stacking incident, obsessive tendencies fueled by petty grudges, big lungs for talking, screaming, and a love for singing. Thankfully Candace had inherited her mother's vocal abilities. And there was the matter of Doofensmirtz's legitimate daughter, Vanessa. Yes, the two girls could defiantly be seen as sisters.

But then what about Phineas? The agent stopped dead in his tracks at this new revelation. He had always held a special liking for the younger redheaded boy. To think there was even the possibility of relation … The short fur along his spine bristled a bit in displeasure.

Perry sighed a platypus sigh. He should be getting back to one of his beds. Even though he wasn't looking foreword to it, he needed to see Doofensmirtz again tomorrow. Things had to be sorted out. Padding into the boy's room he stopped for a second and gazed at Phineas' sleeping form. Then, a little guiltily he walked past the low mattress and hopped up to Ferb's side for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm really sorry I took so obscenely long with the final chapter everyone. Thank you very much for your kind comments and patience!_

* * *

BAM! A Platypus foot kicked down the front door to Doofenshmirtz's apartment. "Perry the Platypus, how nice of you to drop by. Nope, I'm not mad about the door this time. See?" They both watched as a pincher-like device came down from the ceiling and stood the door up in its place again. A second robotic limb appeared and screwed the hinges back on. The same limbs quickly descended on Perry and held him down against the floor as they simultaneously screwed in restraints. The panel of floor then rose to an upright position. Doofenshmirtz smiled at him. "Now that's craftsmanship."

"Now I suppose you are wondering what my latest scheme is. I mean, you didn't even bother sticking around to find out yesterday," He gestured at his bandaged nose before continuing. "so you've had all night to wonder about it, right?" Perry closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, gesturing that he wasn't going to listen. "What? W- are you still mad about yesterday? I told you that was _before_ I was married. And anyways, I didn't just run off after we saw each other again like so many other men. I went back visit her from time to time. Eh, well only a few times really. It seems she didn't actually like me very much when she was sober. She told me that she should have left me for good after that very first date at the drive-in.

"But then the baby was born." He smiled at the memory of it. "You see, I was kind of an expert at the thing by then, having just been through the ordeal with my then-wife, Charlene, just a few months earlier. I held Linda's hand and told her that it'd be alright… Well, actually she told me to bugger off and I was forced to wait in the waiting room. But then, when she had fallen asleep afterwards I got to see my second baby girl, Linda named her Candace. I don't know if I would have ever chosen that name for her, but whatever."

"I've only seen her twice after that though. Once I dropped by when she was only a baby. Just to check up, you know. She shut the door in my face, but I managed to catch a glimpse around her of baby Candace laying on the floor. A few years later when my and my wife's divorce was pending, I received a call that was quite peculiar. It was Linda. It turns out that it was Candace's third birthday, and well, Linda was feeling pretty guilty about things. The way she had broke off Candace's connection with her father and whatnot. She and I came to an agreement over the phone. I could come to visit one last time, to meet her before she would actually be able to remember me, then I would have to never see them again. And then, well, I'll spare you the details of the night." He waved it off with his hand.

Perry chittered. "Yeah, yeah, I'll get to the point. Geeze, Perry the Platypus, you are being so impatient today. Well, I guess this _is_ going on quite a bit longer than we usually do. Okay, behold my Kin-locator-inator!" He gestured grandly at his newest contraption. "This one is very simple. You see, I'm hoping that maybe Candace might have inherited some of my evil tendencies. That way I would have someone to aid me in my ruling of the Tri-State Area. You know, when I actually… take it over. Sort of an evil heir, so to speak. I mean, I still have high hopes for Vanessa, but it's good to have a back-up plan, you know?

"So I just take one of my hairs," He winced as he plucked a single hair from atop his head. "and I put it in the DNA scanner here. Then the Kin-locator-inator uses my DNA pattern and traces it to all of my closest relatives around the world." The machine's screens ran through a series of numbers and soon flashed several maps on the screen. Doofensmirtz pointed to one of them. "See. This is my mother right here and aaalll my family in Druelselstein. And there's my cousin Gertrude in that town over there. And…here's Roger" He moved the map displaying city hall aside with a frown.

"Then there's these two identical maps… Here, let me just zoom out on this one…" He pressed a button and a loud chitter came from behind him. Distracted, the doctor turned to see an empty platypus trap. "Perry the Platypus, whe- Ooof!"

Perry made quick work of the ensuing scuffle and soon the doctor found himself pinned in his own platypus trap. Parry regarded him with a stern look as he stood on the control panel of the machine.

"Now what do you think you're doing? Hey, no, that's fragile! Don't press that butto- Aggh, curse you Perry the Platypus!"

Perry heard the doctor shout out after him as he pulled a perfect swan dive from the exploding building top, letting the air rush against his face for a few seconds more than usual before pulling the cord of his chute.

So it was practically confirmed now. Perry let loose a sigh. Strange though, he didn't feel as appalled as he felt he should be. It all seemed so clear now. So unimportant in the grand scheme of things. The children would never know of their true heritage as long as Linda had anything to say about it. They were happy with the way things were, and as long as that was true, so was Perry. And there was nothing Doofensmirtz could do to change that.

Perry lightly touched down near his home at the Flynn-Fletcher house. The sun was just setting he noted, right on time.

"There you are, Perry." Phineas greeted him with a toothpaste filled smile as he stood beside his step-brother at the mirror. He spat his mouthful into the sink. "You've been gone even longer than usual today. Busy day, huh?" He jested, knowing full well that Perry was just a Platypus. They don't do much you know.

Perry gave a soft chitter and rubbed against the young boy's pajama clad leg. "Aww, c'mon boy." He gently hefted the monotreme into his arms. "Let's get some sleep."


End file.
